You know what? Depression sucks ass and blows chunks. Duh, right? I've not been this depressed since...well, I guess since I ruptured a disk in my back the semester I was supposed to graduate from college. Hell, even then I at least had pain pills to make me not care so much. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook overall but shit just keeps happening. My husband is having trouble with school, I'm having no luck with my grievance OR finding a new job and I'm just plain unhappy and pissed off at life right now. You hear that life? You can go eat something big and nasty right now.
I've dealt with depression my whole life and taken pills for it since I was 15. Most of the time the pills work just fine. Perfectly even. But when I get too stressed BAM! I want to hide in bed and not eat for weeks (when I hit bad rock-bottom depression status I quit eating entirely). This time though...I'm fighting it tooth and nail. I'm making myself get up around 8 every morning, I'm making myself do housework, I'm getting out of the house with Mum and I'm making myself eat(mostly healthy...).
On an upswing, I traveled to Maryland last weekend to see some friends I've not seen in too long. My best friend Savy was offered a job in Fredrick and is moving this weekend. I am eternally jealous. She's getting out of Richmond (and KY altogether), she's getting a decently paying job and she gets to live near some of my favourite people on Earth. If I didn't have a house (and husband) to contend with I'd be joining her. I'm going to miss her like mad. My other best friend, Mags, is leaving in August for the Disney intern program at DisneyWorld. I'm going to be all alone and I'm frightened of that. Not that I'm codependent but it's nice to have people to talk to outside of my husband and Mum sometimes.
Another high note...I go to get my chest tattoo worked on next week. It's the little things in life that keep me from choking someone...